How a ‘to be’ list rather than a ‘to do’ list might serve us better

If we base our wellbeing on achieving future goals, we might just be disappointed. If we are clear on how we wish to feel, chances are we can meet these needs both in the present as well as set goals that will align, creating a win-win for our present and future selves

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How is your to do list and I don’t mean by that your daily to do list of chores, shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. I mean your life to do list, your goals, your aims, your ideals.

What I find is that my to do list seems to get longer and is predicated on how I wish to feel really, and what I found is when I’ve achieved some of my outcomes in life, I haven’t felt any differently.

I’ve been hoping for instance when I’ve got qualifications to feel differently, to feel better, or if I’ve moved house, or if I’ve gone away. And I found not much has changed.

So what I’ve started to cultivate is a ‘to be’ list rather than a to do list and this to be list consists of how I’d like to feel. And I found this really helpful in many ways actually.

On the daily if I have a to be list and pursue how I’d like to feel, it connects me far more with how I’d like to be on the daily. It gives me the opportunity to assess from my existing life and lifestyle whether I can meet those feelings that I’d like to pursue, like to feel into. And it gives me the opportunity to be far more present in my existing life, rather than putting on hold almost my life and waiting for that outcome to be achieved, that goal to be reached until when then I can feel how I wish to feel.

So I wonder if you can consider that too, how you could pursue a to be list and by that I mean how you’d like to feel.



Often how you’d like to feel gives you the opportunity to really explore your values, what’s important to you, what’s not important to you.

And it gives us the opportunity then to pursue and to draw up a list of to do’s based on the to be list.

So how we’d like to feel is far more important in a way than how we’d like to do, how we want to do, what we want to do in our lives.

I have found it’s really given me the opportunity to be more present with myself, be more accountable to myself, because I’m really, really feeling into how I want to feel in my life. And, if I can achieve that from my existing way of life and whether I can just make simple tweaks, rather than basing my whole life on some future focused outcome, goal, ideal, aim that when I achieve it I don’t feel any different because I’ve not really assessed how I’d like to feel.