VIDEO: how we self abandon in relating to others

Jan Normanton • September 19, 2023

A significant form of self abandonment is how we relate to others. We may operate in a hyper independent mode where we feel quite self sufficient, where we feel shut off from others, where we close down purposely from others and choose to go about our business quite independently, as if we don’t need anybody else.


We are relational beings however and this may be a form of trauma response where perhaps in our childhood, the message was from our primary caregivers that we had to be independent, that we had to look after ourselves, otherwise we wouldn’t have survived (in that child mode of thinking).



The opposite to that may be overgiving, overrelating to others and this again is a form of trauma response whereby we may fawn or people please. Fawning is type of trauma response, a lesser known one; there’s the fight, flight, fright, freeze ones and then there’s the fawn, where we overgive, where we overextend ourselves, where we self abandon in order to fit in with the tribe, in order to please others and this is a learned strategy from our childhoods as well.


#cptsd #childhoodtrauma #reparenting #selfabandonment #traumatherapy #resilience 

By janetnormanton April 14, 2026
Explore why connection is essential for healing in the Soma Massage Method™, and how safe, therapeutic relationships help rebuild trust and support lasting transformation.
By janetnormanton April 9, 2026
Discover the power of presence in the Soma Massage method and how deep, attentive connection supports nervous system regulation, self-awareness, and true healing.
By janetnormanton April 2, 2026
Learn why safety is the foundation of healing in the Soma Massage method, and how calming the nervous system supports true rest, regulation, and recovery.
By janetnormanton March 26, 2026
Discover the story behind The Soma Massage Method™, shaped by lived experience, trauma healing, and over 25 years of bodywork, helping therapists support nervous system regulation and authentic client transformation.
By janetnormanton March 19, 2026
Learn what you will gain from Soma Massage training, from practical techniques to deep self-connection, presence, and creating safe, client-centred healing spaces.
By janetnormanton March 16, 2026
Discover the power of co-regulation and Soma massage. Learn how holding space, deep listening, and presence can support true self-healing and emotional connection.
By janetnormanton March 11, 2026
Discover the Soma Massage Method, a two day somatic bodywork training in Lancashire. Learn nervous system regulation, deepen your practice, and support clients beyond standard massage.
By janetnormanton February 24, 2026
Learn what trauma sensitive really means in The Soma Massage Method™. Discover how trauma informed bodywork supports nervous system regulation, client safety and ethical practice without stepping into trauma therapy.
By janetnormanton February 4, 2026
Discover why traditional massage techniques aren’t enough in today’s therapeutic landscape. Learn how The Soma Massage Method™ helps therapists create safer, more embodied, client-centred sessions that lead to lasting results.
By janetnormanton January 15, 2026
Explore what it means to be an embodied therapist and why presence, not technique, is the key to truly transformative bodywork. Learn how The SOMA Massage Method™ helps therapists connect with themselves and their clients for deeper healing.
Show More